NEVER Sleep With Your Partner Undercover
by RoseyPoseyPie
Summary: If Tony and Ziva slept together (Even though I'm POSITIVE they did) they could've gotten pregnant... so what would have happened? Accepting Betas, Ideas and CONSTRUCTIVE CRITICS. All flamers WILL be reported. Flaming is a form of cyberbullying, people! I really hate summaries.
1. Chapter 1

**This Is My First NCIS fanfiction, new NCIS tonight, YAY! I hope they both are OK. Did you hear Micheal Weatherly's wife is pregnant! That is so awesome, I love babies. Toodiloo. I don't own anything but the plot and the future child, Girl or Boy? What should I name it? I find it too Cliche' to name it Kate or Jenny and I've read way to many 'twin' fics for my liking, one child only.**

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**3x09 – Frame Up**

Dear Diary

This was a suggestion from a website on how to cope with stress so I do not murder my colleagues. Also it is coming useful because it is around the time of my period.

Why did Tony want me to judge his butt? I will never understand that man or McGee too for that matter, why do people even rate butts? Then I told him a two, knocked three off for hairiness (it is hairy) and told him to shave.

At the crime scene he could tell weight and height of that woman by her leg, which was weird. And then another thing, the fingerprints came back as his, and the dentals and he thought _I_ set him up, what would I gain in that?

And then I went through all his past girlfriends and I just realized how depressing it all was, who dates that many women, and do not get me STARTED on all the one-night stands. I wonder if he'll count me on that list because we slept together undercover.

In the end he was innocent, on murdering her; it was because of some George Stewart getting arrested and then we arrested Charles 'Chip' because he also was in on it.

Nevertheless today was interesting.

ZIVA DAVID

**3x10 – Probie**

Dear Diary,

My period is about three days late. I am not necessarily perfectly regular, but after three days I wonder, could it be possible I got pregnant? And… since I got into the states the only person I really slept with was Tony… I CANNOT think about that, it… wouldn't happen!

First Tony gets arrested, now McGee, he fired shots at a man he was sure was armed. They say that Probies like him make mistakes, but the death of a man is a rather large one, is it not? Then it was revealed he was an undercover cop. The Metro people I didn't like, I only saw them, not much interaction but it was rather rude the way he acted. Do Americans have any manners? I kept an early schedule, even though my late period is worrying. It turns out that there was a man inside the SUV that fired, McGee misunderstood and shot Benedict.

On the other side Tony is in communication with a sperm bank, apparently something was up with one of his donations. We argued because he's worried his hypothetical offspring needed a kidney, I find it difficult to believe he would give a kidney. Then he said "You're not a parent." And told me I wouldn't understand and I could only worry that I do understand, that I will, and that I am a parent. But later in the day I got to slap Tony that was fun. Later I found out the bank called because nobody wanted his sperm, which was amusing.

ZIVA DAVID

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**Review please. I'll try to update but I'm bad at it.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Don't expect to get updates every day I was just... blown away by all the reviews and favorites and follows I got, how could I not post something?!**

**Thanks to the following: Myevildog04, Very Special Baby DiNozzo, CheekyTikki, melielle, NCISLOVER25, Gingerstorm101, 4susan41, Pandora'sBox11, , caskett26, Tali 101, gotgoats, Ely101ncisfan, countrygirl1986, and Aliyah-Shalom-David34 for either favoring or following.**

**Also to my reviewers:**

**Guest(1) - I will/did, thanks for reviewing.**

**Guest(2) - Thanks for the advice, I'll take heed to it. **

**melielle - I'm glad you like it.**

**Gingerstorm101 - I hope I updated soon enough. Where am I going? Well, ****_Spoilers. _****Most likely I'll try to go through all the seasons with them and their kid. But, you never know, there's always impending death by zombies that might get in the way, nah, just joking (about the zombies).**

** - Thanks for reviewing, I hope you like this one too.**

**Ziva: What should I name it, should it be a girl or a boy?**

**Me: I was planning on it being a girl, but the reviewers get to vote on it too.**

**Tony: Do you own NCIS?**

**Me: Sadly I do not, otherwise you two wouldn't still be doing the Tiva-Tango. By the way did you sleep together in Berlin or in season 3? I saw the ****_Double Blind _****promo.**

**Tony: Why should I tell you?**

**Me: Whatever. I own the plot.**

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**3x11 – Model Behavior**

I was over a week late, so I went to a drugstore. I got a pregnancy test, and I peed on the stick, all six of them. I am certain now; I am pregnant, with Tony's baby. It took me a while to comprehend. But I put on work clothes, got up and drove to work. They had an award ceremony. Tony had to accept Gibbs's award because Gibbs was absent. And I just looked at him and I realized he was the FATHER of _my_ unborn child.

Then we had to go to Quantico because of a dead supermodel. Tony and I had another conversation about that stupid show, 'Boot Camp Babes' I argued that you need to defend your country, he wants to see someone fire a gun in a bikini. McGee and I had to interview the other models, Hannah and Natalie.

Tony and I then watched the ZNN report. He was obviously hoping that he got on TV but he didn't. Gibbs, Palmer, Ducky and McGee were though. Then we interviewed the producers on how Taylor, the victim got PCP. We found out about rehab and old rich boyfriends. Tony told me he was cut off when he was twelve. He had to earn all his dates the 'old fashioned way' and I wanted to scream at him that I was pregnant with his kid.

To tell you the truth if I wrote down the entire case this diary would be less about me and more about the cruelty of humanity. Anyway, when in the interrogation viewing room I just about burst into tears when Tony talked about Gibbs's technique, 'Rock the baby' then it turned out that the victim was dating the Staff Sergeant McMannis, and they snuffed PCP and she OD'd.

While in interrogation with McMannis the sergeant attacked Tony and I, I wish I could say the father of my unborn child protected me, but we worked together to get the PCP addicted marine incapacitated. Crawnshaw was responsible. Tony told me he found Hannah the model attractive, but she was mean and I felt a twinge of jealousy, so I replied I wanted to shoot her.

That afternoon I scheduled a meeting at a fertility clinic. I decided even if Tony was the father and the world is a terrible place I'm going to have this baby. I have no idea why, random epiphany I suppose.

-ZD

**3x12 – Boxed In**

Dear Diary.

I called all of my colleagues but Tony over for dinner. I could not understand how to tell him. I cooked a wonderful meal. Then I decided I had to make the announcement. "I… I have an announcement." I said.

"What is it?" McGee asked.

"Do any of you remember that undercover operation Tony and I went on about a month ago?"

They all nodded. "W-Well, just in case we were being watched, which we later found out we were we… didn't necessarily fake the physical attributes of our fake relationship. At Mossad we get a shot every three months if we want to so we don't get pregnant but mine expired and I was so use to just getting and email and going downstairs and I didn't get an-"

"Officer David, where are you going with this?" Jenny asked

"Director, I'm pregnant, and I'm positive that Tony is the father," I said. "I decided to keep it… and I've been to the fertility clinic."

"Does DiNozzo know?" Gibbs asked.

"No… I do not know how to tell him, you know what he is like."

They all thanked me for the meal and promised they'd be there for me and I do not have to go back to Israel. Jenny suggested that I become a US citizen and Gibbs suggested that I tell Tony. He also said that he wants to minimize my field work. Abby asked me if we could go shopping sometimes. McGee was too surprised to say much. Palmer and Ducky congratulated me.

Tony and I had to go to the docks the next day and ended up locked in a metal box. I jumped on him to protect him from a ricocheting bullet. I told him I was protecting him, told me not to and so I got off him. He stood up and I told him. "I am going to protect the father of my unborn child." He fainted.

He came around with no recollection of the past comment; we kicked down the fake wall and found the explosives. Tony then asked me why I invited Palmer and McGee over (I had informed him earlier that I invoted them over). I told him that McGee and Palmer were very supportive of a decision I decided. Tony told me he used to play piano, and then he asked what my decision was. I sighed. "Promise you will not faint?"

"Sure."

"I am pregnant."

He blinked at me. "Who's the poor soul that got you knocked up?"

"You." He didn't faint, he vomited, not much better.

Then we were lifted up by a forklift, we put money through, tried to get reception and were cornered in a warehouse. I shot the man's foot. Then we got into an argument with the men and Gibbs saved us and arrested some man that I kicked.

That night Tony showed up at my step and gave this really long speech I do not remember all of it but it went a bit like this, "My childhood was terrible and now that you are going to be having a child, and I am going to be a father I want to be part of this baby's life. And I just don't want us to be co-workers, this is a child, maybe it's God or the universe saying we need to get together because if we don't I might start dating a doctor to get to her arms-dealer dad and -(I forgot the rest of this part)- Then we end up falling in love in _Germany_ or something and then we get hit by a car and get in trouble with the DOD and- I just think maybe, since we have this opportunity we should act on it so…" he got down on one knee. "Ziva David, will you-"He pulled a bouquet of plastic, flimsy flowers out of his coat, "Go on a date with me?"

I found it sweet, so I accepted; we had dinner at a retro diner together and… talked, like a real first date. Then he kissed my hand when we left because it was getting late. I found it… enjoyable. However I am still stressed.

-ZD


	3. Chapter 3

**Sorry It took SO long, I was on vacation over the weekend and couldn't update but it was fun to see my family again at our reunion.**

**I am also sorry that this is simply a filler chapter, I can't really do much with any of these episodes.**

**Also please give me ideas for the baby and his/her name**

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**3x13 - Deception**

I was simply trying to get exercise before the baby makes it difficult or dangerous, but someone decided to kidnap a Lt. Commander. I do not want to talk about this case, as it was tiring and depressing, but the one highlight of going through drunken teenagers, bullies, PBJ, pedophilia and kidnappers was getting arrested.

Tony and I were conversing. Apparently he is interested in handcuffing me, but I suppose in America this is normal conversing for a pair of dating, co-workers who are federal agents. Then a rather overweight man who was a security guard thought we were burglars. He told us to handcuff ourselves together. He had never heard of NCIS and refused to let us show him our badges. How we escaped was… amusing. I am pregnant you see, and I got… very nauseous. So nauseous I well, vomited. He asked what the hell was wrong with me and I told him I was pregnant. He was jumpy, not focused and I was able to escape the cuffs and we were able to be… pardoned.

Also I got an email from Abba today. _Dear Ziva how is the United States? How do you like NCIS? Your Abba wants to hear from you and know how his daughter is doing. _

_-Eli David_

HOW do I reply to tell him I am pregnant? And dating Tony? I can't just reply:

_I am doing wonderful Abba, I love this country. I went undercover with my partner as married assassins and got pregnant and now we are dating and I am planning on dual citizenship._

_How's life in Israel?_

_-Ziva David._

I just told him I like NCIS and that I wish to stay here for a while and I have gotten very close to a co-worker. I did not lie, but I feel guilty for not telling me of pregnancy.

Also I found out what Pilates is!

-ZD

**3x14 – Light Sleeper**

Two Marine wives were killed today by a woman. They were all part of sleeper cell. Yoon Dawson, the woman who killed decided to retaliate because he loved her husband and tried to infiltrate the cell and stop a bombing. I did not get to learn how Yoon defused the bomb because Tony dragged me into a car during the evacuation. As an apology he took me out to lunch. We saw Yoon and her husband depart tearfully and Yoon said goodbye to her infant. I have learned more about family today then my own taught me.

I am rather… sad about what happened today, that woman went through a lot for her family. I signed up to get a citizenship and I now have to study America a lot. It will be difficult with… a bun in the oven.

-ZD

**3x15 – Head Case**

Today I found head was found in a chop shop (I vomited), and then Gibbs decided I should stay in the office for the rest of the day, no autopsy no lab, just my boring old desk because I was pregnant. I did however peek over Tony's shoulder when he checked his email; apparently a woman named Naomi calls him "Honey Buns"

Also the head was severed from a body which was supposed to be cremated, however I do not think it worked out exactly to plan. The wife and daughter got the remains of the Petty Officer back.

I cannot imagine the trauma to find out that happened to your father, or your husband. However, apparently that is what happened to Mrs. Wayne.

Tony and I stayed over at his place and watched a lot of movies. I have gotten rather fond of our movie nights. Also we talk a lot, and flirt. Gibbs is torn between amusement and being annoyed most of the time.


	4. Chapter 4

**Sorry it took so long, Finals and stuff. 'Nuff said. I am sorry, here's a chapter. Also sorry it is short. And I won't be able to update until school ends on the 30****th****. Please don't kill me. I can't BELIEVE the season finale.**

**Vote time, Boy or Girl. Whoever gets the most votes by the next chapter is the one I'm going with. So far **

**Boy - 1**

**Girl - 1**

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**3x17 – Ravenous**

Tony wanted to show me every newbie's "worst nightmare" I reminded him I just started my second trimester and was banned from autopsy. He dragged me there anyway. I argued with him, and then we hadd to go to the woods. Correction He and McGee went to the woods, on this stupid second trimester I am banned from autopsy and field. So I went down to see Abby, it was her birthday.

I got her a box of black roses. McGee and Tony also gave her black roses. And Ducky, along with a Goth Teddy. She was upset that Gibbs didn't take her out to dinner last night. I told her Tony seems to keep forgetting I'm pregnant the way he acts.

He was gloating to McGee that the Ranger asked him out. I butted into the conversation reminding him that I am pregnant with his kid. He grinned stupidly, like he always seems to when I tell him that. Then he told me that he let her down nicely, and then he turned to McGee and told him he has a date next week. Besides, he wouldn't "Date a girl who doesn't shave." "I don't shave." I said "Nope, you wax." He smiled cheekily.

McGee turned a little pink.

I wanted to interrogate Edom, I wanted to break Edom. Especially when I found out he never attended his daughter's Dance Recitals. I told him that my dad never came, I played the 'princess card' and the whole thing with his daughter.

Then McGee, Tony and Gibbs went looking for the cabin. I went after them and tied up Fagan. Tony got a little mad I "put myself in harm's way" I apologized saying "That's one of the only ways I know how to do things" He replied, "Well if you're going to be a mom you're going to have to learn.

In the end we got the bastard and I rekindled with Tony. If I am going to be a mom I can't be a bad one like my dad was to me. I need to be better. I need to be a mom.

- ZD

**3x18**

Tony, Gibbs and McGee went to a high-school because a boy had a bomb. I was able to identify it but Tony wouldn't let the snipers shoot the kid. He said, "It's a Gibbs thing. Besides, this is somebody's kid, Ziva, how would you feel if someone shot your son?" I retorted, "My son would not be a suicide bomber." It turned out he was right. The bad people had the detonator, the boy was just holding the bomb. We saved him.

The boy's mother was alive, and in the end he had a family reunion.

Then that night Tony and I had an appointment at the fertility clinic. We learned the gender. We're having a-

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**YEP EPIC CLIFHANGER BECAUSE ZIVA WAS SLEEPY AND HER PEN RAN OUT OF INK SO SHE JUST FORGOT TO WRITE IT IN!**

**REVIEW**


	5. Chapter 5

**Hello everyone who reads this**

**So, yeah I'm updating on the day I said I will, since it's summer time and I don't own a computer and I don't go to the library afterschool anymore to use their computers my updating will be rare, but it is 't like I'm very timely. To tell you the truth after seeing the finale I've gotten writers block, because I can't think up anything past my worrying for what will happen. Plus I've gotten the feels for Tom Hiddleston/Loki and thus obsessed with him and spend WAY too much time on tumblr…. so yeah. Blame tumblr.**

**Also Girls vote won, and I already picked out a name and all so… yeah.**

**3x19 Iced.**

A girl, I will be having a small daughter. I am very happy.

So McGee is a little feminine, I don't know why he had to be so macho. So Tony is very macho, well, actually he's buying a lot of pink floral things lately but that is just because of the baby. And Gibbs is macho but Gibbs is… Gibbs. I don't see anything wrong with McGee, I considered him appropriately masculine. Apparently when Tony found McGee's feminine lotion he started questioning his manliness. Boys will be boys.

A cold case got a new lead when uh… four bodies were found in a frozen lake. All shot, three were from an El Salvadorian Gang, LVM. I could've been useful but I was… pregnant. While McGee who was trying to be macho and an overprotective, albeit sweet Tony were having Gibbs peering over their shoulder Abby and I ordered baby stuff.

The case ended up with a member of the game having, Cesar Bernal been responsible for the boss's death and then playing the entire gang for fools as he ordered all the hits saying that the boss told him too. In the end his gang killed him, oh well.

**3x20 Untouchable**

You see it was supposed to be safe, Tony and I would go to the lieutenants house to see why she missed her interview, we weren't expecting to find a crime scene. So then I was shipped back to the office while they investigated. Apparently Gibbs is good with cats, or so it seems after all Tony and McGee said.

The only other time that case I was allowed to leave the office was when Tony and I did surveillance on Roca. I purposely hit the car that he was supposed to be in to stall but it was a decoy, and then I had to beg Tony to take the responsibility, I said I'd do anything, so he agreed and said he'd tell me what he wants me to do at home.

Apparently now I'm engaged.

**(3x20 aired on my birthday)**


End file.
